10 Lessons learned in South Beach

I just got back from an extended bachelorette weekend in Miami. Four nights. Fourteen girls. Nonstop mayhem.

A few lessons learned along the way:

  1. SoBe is painfully hot in June. And painfully expensive. All the prices are spiked because it’s the “off season.” $15 a shot?  Am I drinking it out of this?
  2. Women barely wear anything in South Beach and men walk around in socks and sneakers. I know we still have a long way to go in the feminist movement, but this seems to be… advantage, women.
  3. Sitting alone on an Ocean Drive restaurant, is not the same as sitting alone at a restaurant anywhere else. People either avoid walking close to you like you have the plague or assume that they can pay you to come home with them.
  4. You can get away with wearing things in South Beach that you couldn’t wear anywhere else (so, dust off those hot pants).
  5. Mojitos are good in any flavor and there is no such thing as a Mojito that is too big.
  6. Get off Ocean Drive. All the food sucks.
  7. There is no middle fashion-class in Miami. People are either super tackilicious or dripping in designer duds.
  8. Traveling with a hoard of women is key to offsetting some of the “off season” costs.  i.e. liquor, cover charges, cab fares.
  9. Four nights of sleep deprivation, 6 hours in an airport, and a missed Gate change will cause you to burst into tears in front of the ticketing rep.
  10. Warning to People 30 and Over: Your body has changed biologically and you are no longer able to go out until 5:30 am for four consecutive days. If you do happen to do this, drink a lot of water, cry it out (see number 9.), and sleep for two consecutive days.
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One thought on “10 Lessons learned in South Beach

  1. birdmaddgirl says:

    #4: I still own a drawer full of clothes that do not see the light of day in Boston. And I still miss being able to dress 305.

    #5: I have yet to find a really good mojito here. If you do, I must know about it immediately. For a while I was making my own, but I’ve not yet gotten up to my own snobbish mojito standards.

    #6: No one from Miami would ever eat on Ocean Drive. Unless we had to take out relatives with too much money who we don’t like.

    #10: I am in love with coconut water now. Life. Saver.

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