I just got back from an extended bachelorette weekend in Miami. Four nights. Fourteen girls. Nonstop mayhem.
A few lessons learned along the way:
- SoBe is painfully hot in June. And painfully expensive. All the prices are spiked because it’s the “off season.” $15 a shot? Am I drinking it out of this?
- Women barely wear anything in South Beach and men walk around in socks and sneakers. I know we still have a long way to go in the feminist movement, but this seems to be… advantage, women.
- Sitting alone on an Ocean Drive restaurant, is not the same as sitting alone at a restaurant anywhere else. People either avoid walking close to you like you have the plague or assume that they can pay you to come home with them.
- You can get away with wearing things in South Beach that you couldn’t wear anywhere else (so, dust off those hot pants).
- Mojitos are good in any flavor and there is no such thing as a Mojito that is too big.
- Get off Ocean Drive. All the food sucks.
- There is no middle fashion-class in Miami. People are either super tackilicious or dripping in designer duds.
- Traveling with a hoard of women is key to offsetting some of the “off season” costs. i.e. liquor, cover charges, cab fares.
- Four nights of sleep deprivation, 6 hours in an airport, and a missed Gate change will cause you to burst into tears in front of the ticketing rep.
- Warning to People 30 and Over: Your body has changed biologically and you are no longer able to go out until 5:30 am for four consecutive days. If you do happen to do this, drink a lot of water, cry it out (see number 9.), and sleep for two consecutive days.